After posting my thoughts on Romans 5, I have been under attack from Satan. I am certain he works through our confidence to tear us down. Owen has been on my heart a lot lately, but more disturbing, his death has been surrounding me with unfamiliar guilt this past week. I have been re-living the day he passed over and over wondering what I could have and should have done differently. As I begin to grow angry with myself, I am finding that reciting what little scripture I have memorized seems to help in distracting my mind. I have looked up verses that comfort me personally and will begin memorizing them today. I need extra prayer against Satan right now as these emotions come crashing in on me, especially when I lay down to sleep. I fear closing my eyes, I don't want to see those images. I don't want to re-live those feelings. I want to remember Owen as the happy blessing he was! I know that I will always be sad in remembering him, but I do not want to fear how I remember him... Please pray for peace and also for comfort as I battle homesickness as well. Thank you.
LL
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My sweet friend, I am up in the night thinking about you and lifting you up to the Lord. Hearing of your pain and guilt brings me to tears, and I just want to give you the biggest bear hug and breath in deep the air of God’s overwhelming love for you and his mighty arm of protection in your life.
I remember times when I’ve replayed events in my life, analyzing to the point where it was almost paralyzing. The emotions that were evoked stirred me again, with almost the same intensity. I wished I could go back and do it all differently, as if even the slightest change in the sequence might have changed the outcome; it seemed so much better on the other side, before the whole thing happened. Somehow my imagination had escaped reality and found a way to return to a prior glory, in my own estimation, and I’d catch myself daydreaming or having night dreams about the way things used to be… and then I remembered the Red Sea.
"Is this not the word that we spoke to you in Egypt, saying, 'Leave us alone that we may serve the Egyptians'? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness."
[The Red Sea Is Divided]
But Moses said to the people, “Do not fear! Stand by and see the salvation of the LORD which He will accomplish for you today; for the Egyptians whom you have seen today, you will never see them again forever.
"The LORD will fight for you while you keep silent."
- Exodus 14:12-14
Lindsey, may you see Him fight the battle in your silent wilderness of late, and may you rest peacefully under His protective wing. I love you! -Adria
“Hear my cry, O God; Give heed to my prayer.
From the end of the earth
I call to You when my heart is faint;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
For You have been a refuge for me,
A tower of strength against the enemy.”
- Psalm 61:1-3
(Other good verses to memorize)
“The sun will not smite you by day,
Nor the moon by night.
The LORD will protect you from all evil;
He will keep your soul.
The LORD will guard your going out
and your coming in
from this time forth and forever.”
- Psalm 121:6-8
“But the Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen and protect you from the evil one.
-2 Thessalonians 3:3-4
“Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.”
- Jude 1:23-25
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