Derailed.

Confession: My time in the Scriptures... not so much lately.
I have been making, and using, every excuse in the book as of late. " Well, we have just been so busy with getting settled." "I have so much stuff going on and all I want to do is crash when I get a few minutes to myself." "I am praying a lot... that counts, right?!"
While it is true that my prayer life has been constant, dare I say more fervent, over the past couple of months, my reading has taken a total nose dive. I have been reading a lot more books with Corin (I know, another excuse.), and have not been setting aside time to read to myself. And when I do... it is not the edifying Word of Life I need so much, but have been resisting quite adamantly.
Why? Why do I shut the Lord out and refuse to hear His voice? Why would I speak with Him in Prayer and yet not listen for a response? While I know it will not come as a shocker to some, I do this in my worldly life too. I talk, talk, talk... then when it is my turn to listen, I tune out. When it is time to hear how I can improve, I tune out. When it is time to hear how I can help His Kingdom, I tune out. WHY?! ARg. I drive myself nuts with my boastful, prideful, stubborn self. I allow Satan to whisper sweet nothings in my ear and tell me that I am a good little girl for talking to God, but when it is time to listen to my amazing Savior's response I am too busy puffing up my chest with pride as I listen to Satan's lies about how great I am all on my own. I neglect to hear the TRUTH.
I am nothing. I am dust. I can do NOTHING without my Lord and Savior JESUS!!!! Hello. Wake up and smell the coffee, Lindsey, because it is time to set aside time with the Lord... and not just in prayer, but in quiet meditation on His word. Quiet... hmm. In my house, that means before the kids wake up, or after the kids go to bed. I know this is asking a lot of you, but please hold me accountable. Ask me how my reading is going. It takes two seconds, but it works wonders. Conviction is a powerful motivator. Hopefully one day I can say that I ADORE reading the Scriptures every chance I can get... sadly, I am ashamed to say, this sinner is not there just yet.

LL

A Mother's Joy

I started a poem the other day as I reflected on what it is like being a mom. Words can never truly express the feeling, but I ventured to write out some thoughts. While this is not yet finished... I want to dedicate it to my mom. A mom who has loved me, supported me, and encouraged me throughout my life. A mom I could and never would replace. I love you mom!


Long awaiting, anxious thoughts,
Fears, joys, what ifs and what nots.
Laborious efforts, body worn,
FInally holding that tiny form.

Melting heart with every glance,
Lovingly embracing at every chance.
Prayers go up, joy flows in.
Ready for the journey to begin.

Soaking it up as baby grows,
grabby fingers, ticklish toes.
Soon they're sitting, now they crawl.
Walk, now talk, getting into it all.

Fits and fussing, bruises, bumps.
Never ending days of grumps.
Smiles, kisses, hugs and laughter,
Your sweet little shadow following after.

A mother's joy, full to the brim,
Triggered by a simple grin,
Or look, or hug, or singing aloud...
In their triumphs, you feel proud.

A mother's joy, never fully grasped,
'Til in your own arms you've clasped,
A blessing, a gift that God created,
Unique for you, never duplicated.

A love that God grows to draw us near,
Near Himself in love, awe, and fear.
A love that before, never fully known,
But once a parent, this privilege shown.

The privilege of knowing Christ's love for us all,
A love that that Lifted us up from the Fall.

God loved his children,yes me and yes you,
So much that He sent Jesus, to be pierced through.
For our sakes, our lives, our sin He was sent.
The perfect, the ONLY pure atonement.

God the Father, sent His Son,
Not His third or fourth but His only One.
I can only image the pain in His heart,
As the life of Jesus began to depart.

Through the suffering, the scoffing, the hardships the trial...
God was there watching and loving all the while.





I never knew how much a parent loves their child until I became a mom. I never knew how HARD it must have been for God to watch his Child suffer, until I tended to a hurt child of my own... and I never knew how excruciating it must have been for God to watch his Son die until I lost my own child. I am so thankful to know God's character more, through the three little blessings he has given Taylor and I. And I am so thankful for my parents in having loved me and patiently waited for my brother and I to mature into adults. Thanks mom and dad! :)

LL