Thursday, August 26, 2010

Stepping Heavenward

I just finished reading Stepping Heavenward by Prentiss. I am in love with this book. I must say that the author quite literally woke me up from my doom and gloom of a mood that has held me down as of late. I am very thankful for the way God uses each of us and the talents which He so graciously bestows upon us! I only wish I could be a write one day and inspire women with the words God chose to place in my heart. Perhaps one day. For now, I will settle for this book, which I know will be re-read and recommended over and over. I highly encourage a read or re-read on your behalf as well! Let the Lord lift you and encourage you in your own sanctification process!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Dry spell...

It has been a few months since my last post. I must admit that I credit this dry spell to that which left my spiritual life in drought as well. I have been very distant from God this summer as I placed other "idols" in His place. I have been so selfish and undeserving of the Love which I was still graciously bestowed... despite my lack of returned effections toward Him. While I did not earnestly seek Him, he has stirred me up and shown me areas in which I need to constantly repent and allow HIM to do the work. I have been relying on my own strength and power to defeat the sin, and not suprisingly... I have failed. How proud I am. How foolish to think that I, a mere creation of the Creator, could possibly conquer a sin that so viciously sent our Savior to His grave.
I finally had the courage to let my pride go and relenquish my sins to God. My temper and anger have been the main root of sin bearing rotten fruit in my life. It has been the rotten fruit that I have fed to my husband and son. I am ashamed to say so, but I must admit it to you as well as my God if I am to be held accountable. (Not to mention, I am covetous of your prayers in this area.) I am determined to allow GOD to sanctify me through my sin and that I would not try, hard as it is to sit back and wait, to create that clean heart on my own accord. I am very saddened to think that I fall into this trap over and over. I stand strong in Him for a little while and inevitably fall into thinking I could do it faster and more efficiently. Once I start falling into this web of thoughts, I soon become entrapt and begin trying even harder to fix myself in ALL areas. All of this usually results in an emotional and physical breakdown, or outburst, or EXPLOSION! *Sigh*
I KNOW that only my Savior can cleanse me. That He asks very little on my part. Trust and Obey. That's all. Trust and Obey. It is clear to me that he has called me to obey his commandments, specifically in regards to anger as of late. He has drawn me to scriptures that convict and encourage me in this area. I am such a wavering sinner, but I do TRUST in the finished work my Savior has done, and TRUST in the work He is yet completing in me this day! Praise the Lord Almighty for never leaving, no forasking us in our times of need... even if they are not times of want. (for Him that is) I NEED Jesus in my life. I NEED Jesus in my heart, so that He can be the overpour that comes from my mouth. That the words on my tongue would be kind and loving towards not only my husband and son, not only to any that surround me and come into contact with me, but to myself as well. That I could love myself as Christ does and not have such negative, self-degrationg thoughts. That I could joyfully serve my Savior with NO doubt of His love towards each and every being He has created.
So as I wait... as I trust and obey... as I seek Him knowing I am constantly being sanctified... as I confess and repent of my sins... and as I serve Him... I hope you will join me in praying for HIS glory to shine through and that there would constantly be less of my sinful heart exposed, yet more and more of HIS heart coming to the surface!
LL
Psalm 115
1 Not to us, O LORD, not to us
but to your name be the glory,
because of your love and faithfulness.

2 Why do the nations say,
"Where is their God?"

3 Our God is in heaven;
he does whatever pleases him.

4 But their idols are silver and gold,
made by the hands of men.

5 They have mouths, but cannot speak,
eyes, but they cannot see;

6 they have ears, but cannot hear,
noses, but they cannot smell;

7 they have hands, but cannot feel,
feet, but they cannot walk;
nor can they utter a sound with their throats.

8 Those who make them will be like them,
and so will all who trust in them.

9 O house of Israel, trust in the LORD—
he is their help and shield.

10 O house of Aaron, trust in the LORD—
he is their help and shield.

11 You who fear him, trust in the LORD—
he is their help and shield.

12 The LORD remembers us and will bless us:
He will bless the house of Israel,
he will bless the house of Aaron,

13 he will bless those who fear the LORD—
small and great alike.

14 May the LORD make you increase,
both you and your children.

15 May you be blessed by the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

16 The highest heavens belong to the LORD,
but the earth he has given to man.

17 It is not the dead who praise the LORD,
those who go down to silence;

18 it is we who extol the LORD,
both now and forevermore.
Praise the LORD. [b]