Thinking out loud...Romans 5

I have often wondered how God could grant us such overwhelming Grace that we would be able to get through anything. How he could never give us more than we could withstand. I could never imagine what that limit was... the limit of what we could actually handle. I think somehow I always assumed it would be what we would physically be able to withstand and not emotionally. As most of you know, Taylor and I lost our 6 week old son this past July. Most of you also were able to witness the grace given to me during this time. God lifted me to a point where I felt as if I were in a dream. That I wasn't really processing all that was happening because I had true Peace about Owen's death. I knew there was nothing I could have done to change the outcome because it was simply his time to go. I must preface this by saying that I still ache for my son. I still weep when I think of him and all the things he would be doing right now, but I do not have any taunting questions or negative feelings towards God for the loss of Owen in this world. I was reminded of this peace today as I read through Romans 5. The chapter starts off: "Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in the hope of the glory of God, and not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us." These few verses hold true in times of tribulation if you are willing to allow God to work in your heart through the Holy Spirit. Having witnessed it first hand, I am a firm believer in the power of prayer, and how sufficient God is in our times of need. I was carried on the prayers of those around me until I was willing to bring my own sorrows to the foot of His throne. As I lay them down at the feet of my Lord and Savior, I was immediately filled to the brim with peace, standing in the grace of God's faithful presence. It sounds odd to glory in tribulations when you read this, having not gone through any harsh trials. Some of us may never experience true tribulations. For those who do, it is beyond comforting to know that God promises to uphold us as described in Romans 5. Praise God for his unfailing love and unbreakable promises. Now I struggle with laying the small trials at his feet and remembering that his grace is enough everyday... not just in times of dire need. Thank you Lord for reminding me of this today. Amen.
LL

Romans 2:17-29

I have always loved the fact that the Scriptures speak to your heart in different ways in different seasons of your life. At times, God's words are soothing, others they are reaffirming, but most often, they are convicting... at least for myself. I often find at least one line of scripture that calls me to be more mindful in my pursuit of Godliness. I have many hidden faults that boil beneath my skin and while I look calm and collected in public, I am an entirely different person behind closed doors. I feel two faced at times. I strive to uphold God's image when around others, but not in my own home?. How is this of any benefit to anyone? *** Lately especially, I have been cold and impatient with my family. As we have traveled half-way around the world, away from our friends and family, I find myself without the accountability I had before. And so I write to you, in hopes that those who read this will be able to lift me up in prayer and help to hold me accountable. Even as we are separated by land and sea, we cannot be separated from the power of prayer. May God be glorified through my outward convictions.*** In reading through Romans today, I was drawn to Chapter 2, specifically verses 19-23. "and are confident that you yourself are a guide to the blind, a light to those who are in darkness, an instructor of the foolish, a teacher of babes, having the form of knowledge and truth in the law. You, therefore, who teach another, do you not teach yourself? You who preach that a man should not steal, do you steal? You who say, “Do not commit adultery,” do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? You who make your boast in the law, do you dishonor God through breaking the law?" I am a mother and therefore a teacher and a light to Corin. I am called to be a living example for my son, and yet he is the one who receives most of my impatience and frustration. I find myself making excuses for my behavior when I know I am doing wrong. I "make my boast in the law" and yet I dishonor God our Father in not obeying them. I ask that you, my friends and family, would lift me up in my obedience in Faith. I desire to honor our Lord in public and in private. Please pray for me as a wife, a mother, but mostly as a daughter of God. Thank you, your sister in Christ. LL