Derailed.

Confession: My time in the Scriptures... not so much lately.
I have been making, and using, every excuse in the book as of late. " Well, we have just been so busy with getting settled." "I have so much stuff going on and all I want to do is crash when I get a few minutes to myself." "I am praying a lot... that counts, right?!"
While it is true that my prayer life has been constant, dare I say more fervent, over the past couple of months, my reading has taken a total nose dive. I have been reading a lot more books with Corin (I know, another excuse.), and have not been setting aside time to read to myself. And when I do... it is not the edifying Word of Life I need so much, but have been resisting quite adamantly.
Why? Why do I shut the Lord out and refuse to hear His voice? Why would I speak with Him in Prayer and yet not listen for a response? While I know it will not come as a shocker to some, I do this in my worldly life too. I talk, talk, talk... then when it is my turn to listen, I tune out. When it is time to hear how I can improve, I tune out. When it is time to hear how I can help His Kingdom, I tune out. WHY?! ARg. I drive myself nuts with my boastful, prideful, stubborn self. I allow Satan to whisper sweet nothings in my ear and tell me that I am a good little girl for talking to God, but when it is time to listen to my amazing Savior's response I am too busy puffing up my chest with pride as I listen to Satan's lies about how great I am all on my own. I neglect to hear the TRUTH.
I am nothing. I am dust. I can do NOTHING without my Lord and Savior JESUS!!!! Hello. Wake up and smell the coffee, Lindsey, because it is time to set aside time with the Lord... and not just in prayer, but in quiet meditation on His word. Quiet... hmm. In my house, that means before the kids wake up, or after the kids go to bed. I know this is asking a lot of you, but please hold me accountable. Ask me how my reading is going. It takes two seconds, but it works wonders. Conviction is a powerful motivator. Hopefully one day I can say that I ADORE reading the Scriptures every chance I can get... sadly, I am ashamed to say, this sinner is not there just yet.

LL